rules.txt

1	Once you have their money, you never give it back.
2	Money is everything.
3	Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.
4	Sedition and treason are always profitable.
5	Always exaggerate your estimates.
6	Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
7	Keep your ears open.
8	Small print leads to large risk.
9	Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
10	Greed is eternal.
13	Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
14	Sometimes the quickest way to find profits is to let them find you.
15	Dead men close no deals.
16	A deal is a deal... until a better one comes along.
17	A contract is a contract is a contract... but only between Ferengi.
18	A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
19	Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
20	He who dives under the table today lives to profit tomorrow.
21	Never place friendship above profit.
22	A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
23	Nothing is more important than your health... except for your money.
27	There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
29	What's in it for me?
30	Confidentiality equals profit.
31	Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother. Insult something he cares about instead.
33	It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
34	War is good for business.
35	Peace is good for business.
37	The early investor reaps the most interest.
39	Don't tell customers more than they need to know.
40	She can touch your lobes, but never your latinum.
41	Profit is its own reward.
43	Feed your greed, but not enough to choke it.
44	Never confuse wisdom with luck.
45	Expand or die.
47	Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
48	The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
52	Never ask when you can take.
53	Never trust anybody taller than you.
54	Rate divided by time equals profit.
55	Take joy from profit, and profit from joy.
57	Good customers are as rare as latinum; treasure them.
58	There is no substitute for success.
59	Free advice is seldom cheap.
60	Keep your lies consistent.
62	The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
63	Work is the best therapy - at least for your employees.
65	Win or lose, there's always Hupyrian beetle snuff.
66	Someone's always got bigger ears.
68	Risk doesn't always equal reward.
69	Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.
74	Knowledge equals profit.
75	Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum.
76	Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
77	If you break it, I'll charge you for it.
79	Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
82	The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
85	Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
87	Learn the customer's weaknesses so that you can better take advantage of him.
88	Vengeance will cost you everything.
89	Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
91	Your boss is only worth what he pays you.
92	There are many paths to profit.
94	Females and finances don't mix.
95	Expand or die.
97	Enough is never enough.
98	Every man has his price.
99	Trust is the biggest liability of all.
100	When it's good for business, tell the truth.
101	Profit trumps emotion.
102	Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.
103	Sleep can interfere with opportunity.
104	Faith moves mountains... of inventory.
106	There is no honor in poverty.
108	Hope doesn't keep the lights on.
109	Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
110	Exploitation begins at home.
111	Treat people in your debt like family; exploit them.
112	Never have sex with the boss' sister.
113	Always have sex with the boss.
121	Everything is for sale, even friendship.
123	Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
125	You can't make a deal if you're dead.
135	Listen to secrets, but never repeat them.
139	Wives serve, brothers inherit.
141	Only fools pay retail.
144	There's nothing wrong with charity, as long as it winds up in your pocket.
147	People love the bartender.
151	Even when you're a customer, sell yourself.
153	Sell the sizzle, not the steak.
162	Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.
168	Whisper your way to success.
177	Know your enemies, but do business with them always.
181	Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
183	When life hands you ungaberries, make detergent.
184	A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.
189	Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
190	Hear all, trust nothing.
192	Never cheat a Klingon, unless you're sure you can get away with it.
193	It's never too late to fire the staff.
194	It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.
199	Location, location, location.
200	A Ferengi chooses no side but his own.
202	The justification for profit is profit.
203	New customers are like razor-toothed gree worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.
208	Sometimes, the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.
211	Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.
212	A good lie is easier to believe than the truth.
214	Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.
216	Never gamble with a telepath.
217	You can't free a fish from water.
218	Sometimes what you get for free costs entirely too much.
219	Possession is eleven-tenths of the law.
223	Beware the man who doesn't take time for oo-mox.
227	If that's what's written, then that's what's written.
229	Latinum lasts longer than lust.
235	Duck; death is tall.
236	You can't buy fate.
239	Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
240	Time, like latinum, is a highly limited commodity.
242	More is good... all is better.
243	Always leave yourself an out.
248	The definition of insanity is trying the same failed scheme and expecting different results.
255	A wife is luxury; a smart accountant, a neccessity.
257	When the messenger comes to appropriate your profits, kill the messenger.
261	A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
263	Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.
266	When in doubt, lie.
267	If you believe it, they believe it.
272	Always inspect the merchandise before making a deal.
280	If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
284	Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.
285	No good deed ever goes unpunished.